On the Thirtieth Day of June, I said good-bye.

Wow, June’s already over…seemed like yesterday we just started the new month.

I won’t be doing these daily updates after tonight. It was a good experience, and it was fun, but I might start driving myself insane if I kept trying to force a title to each day (also, seeing as how two weeks of July will have me in Tainan doing work I don’t wanna do, it would probably read as “On the # Day of July, I killed everyone.” or something like that…)

I guess I could also be saying good-bye to my “old” ways. Focus on the more important things, worry less, breathe more, yada yada whatnot. Old habits die hard; it won’t be easy, and things definitely won’t change the second I say it will, but I’m not gonna give up.

Oh June, how you’ve gone by so quickly. You will be missed.

See you next year.

3 years ago with 1 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-ninth Day of June, I thought.

Overthought, even.

Meh. Not much to say, really…

Just gonna sit here watching Love In Disguise, I guess.

3 years ago with 1 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Love;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-eighth Day of June, I didn’t sleep.

Yeah, I pretty much had an all-nighter from yesterday to today…(seeing as how there’s a Tumblr error at the moment, I’m not sure when this’ll get posted, hence the numbers)

I’m actually kinda glad I didn’t, because at some point my mom woke up, and together we went out walking to get some breakfast. The Taiwan air in the morning is so cool and refreshing. It’s not even that cold, but because it gets so hot during the day, it feels really cool. We had eggcakes, and I had an extra chicken n’ egg sandwich (Taiwanese style, which has a different taste from American). Talked a little bit about upcoming events (see this note for more on that), and then went back to the apartment so I can grab my camera and change shoes. Then we went out for a bit more, walking around and soaking in the cool air. Ended up walking around the nearby university. Apparently a lot of people that are family friends (such as my Chinese teacher) went to that university. It was HUGE. Not as large as LSU, but nowhere NEAR as small as Loyola. Maybe Tulane-ish? There was a mini-forest and a lake and EVERYTHING. And that’s just where we were walking, we didn’t explore the whole place.

Eventually, we came back to the apartment, and I crashed from 10am to 5pm. Yeah, so much for fixing my sleep schedule. It’s now 1:35am and I’m up and not tired at all.

And also hungy.

Tomorrow I’ll get to explore the Fufillment Arena, where the Lady Gaga album release mini-concert is being held, mostly to see where I need to go and figure out logistics of how early I should get there along with other activities. Not much planned otherwise though.

3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-seventh Day of June, I was bored.

Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

Mainly stayed at home all day; I slept from 5pm yesterday to 2pm today. A whopping 19 hours. Dear lord, I have never slept that long for anything. Spent most of the day inside. I kinda wanted to go out and do stuff, but because it started to rain heavily, I was trapped inside.

I guess Taipei kind of spoiled me; I saw all of my friends and spent most of the time with the guy I liked. Here, not as lucky. I have my computer and a TV, but that’s about it, and even the internet can get a bit boring after a while.

Then again, a day to rest isn’t necessarily a bad thing either.

But ah, we’ll see…hopefully tomorrow I’ll at least be able to go out for a little bit…

3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-sixth Day of June, I went Gaga.

Yeah, that’s right.

I slept overnight, outside of a department store, for one measly scrap of paper.

One that allows me to go see a Lady Gaga album promotion mini-concert.


The fact that I was even allowed outside of my apartment for this event is kinda confusing but slightly awesome in the first place. Let’s recap a little:

Lady Gaga is coming to Taiwan for the first time ever. Why, we may never know, especially since Taiwan is slightly unknown on the popularity charts. Even better, she’ll be coming to Taichung for the bigger promo stuff. The mayor has proclaimed July 3rd, the day she comes to the city, Lady Gaga Day. Taichung also happens to be my birthplace and where I go for my summer vacation. I approve.

The information as to where you get your ticket finally came out yesterday, so I looked around online to see exactly what it said. After talking with my aunt (who read and translated), it said that doors will open at 6am Sunday for line-up.

"Alright, we’ll go at around 5 or 5:30 that day."

5 minutes later, news report show that Kaosiung and Taipei (two other cities that were also giving tickets away) already had people lined up. At 11pm Saturday night.


My uncle and I whisked off into the night, finally arriving. There was already quite a few people lined up (and by quite a few I mean I couldn’t see the damn door).

Thankfully, I was wearing my Dance In The Dark t-shirt, so someone struck up conversation, otherwise I would’ve been one lonely asian boy among a bunch of other asian people.

Thankfully, the girl that asked about my t-shirt ended up staying next to my side for the majority of the line-up, even after we got in. She knew her Gaga stuff, too, which kinda surprised me (not entirely sure why though…) We talked a bit about random stuff, and at some point I decided to take a small nap. Somehow I slept “well”, even though it was more like a 3 hour nap on concrete with a rolled-up jacket as a pillow and no blanket to protect from the random wind that was blowing…

Aside from the random GET UP AND RUN TO THE FRONT and then being pushed back….everything was fine.

And then 6 o’clock Sunday came.

And everything went to hell.

First off, the officials had NO idea what the hell they were doing. Somehow the doors opened and literally everyone started screaming and stampeding in. I kid you not. Someone lost their freaking shoe because everyone was running. It was a high-top converse. HOW DO YOU LOSE YOUR FREAKING HIGH-TOP CONVERSE WHILE RUNNING?!

And then we get to the fun part: The officials kept telling us to push back. Without a microphone or megaphone or anything. Expecting everyone to hear. At least 1000 people, trying to get into the same place at once. Through communication via the massive grape monsoon we had, we finally started pushing back. Then there was another mini-charge, and then more pushing back, to the point that someone actually fell over during the stampede. Within the crowd. Yeah, that’s never a good thing. I was caught between a person and a glass door, or two people and maybe one glass, door, I’m not entirely sure. The glass door made an ugly sound, that wasn’t exactly breaking, but more like it was forced open by being pushed and it was all murr eew KURK.

The lunatic asians though finally got in and lined up. This is how things went down:

The night before, they were putting out stickered numbers on the floor, as such:

Not knowing exactly what to do once we got in, everyone assumed they needed to land their feet on one of these numbers, so…we did. I got my nice little number 662.

Or so I thought. After a while, other people noticed that the smaller numbers were starting to lose people actually being on there (…did that make sense? Basically people weren’t lining up at the beginning of the sticker numbers), and we were wondering if we should steal their spot or no. We ended up staying where we were, when within a few minutes we started charging DOWN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE STREET TURNING TOWARDS A CORNER AND LANDING IN YET ANOTHER MASSIVE WAVE OF PEOPLE.

This time it was even worse. There were more pleas of pushing back, and angry responses back to the officials (did I mention they had no fucking clue what to do exactly?) telling them to stop telling us to push back because everyone was squashed. At one point I don’t think I was even walking on my own, because the person in front of me was pushing back, and the person behind me was cushioning me from falling over. I also ended up standing sideways at one point, and even having my arm caught in between THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

Let me give you an example of exactly how bad the damage was. I brought along a Mister Donut box, because there were 3 leftover donuts and my aunts worried I would be hungy, so they just gave it to me because I’m a garbage can who eats anything because they love me. I ate one donut in the morning, when I woke up, and held onto the box for the other two donuts.


Is what happened to the box after that crowd.

(Surprisingly, the donuts inside were intact for the most part; one donut was a bit bent, but they were both pretty round…I ended up throwing it all away anyway because I wasn’t hungy after that and they probably wouldn’t taste any good if I kept them any more. Plus, get them off of my hands so I can support myself and NOT DIE.)

Cameras were pointing at us, showing how terrible everything was being organized (my mom commented on this after the whole thing, apparently it was on the news and whatnot), but at some point they managed to line us up into two lines. Circling around the block.


Starting from where we started to where they actually gave out our NUMBERS (not tickets, the numbers for where to sit in line), BACK TO WHERE THE LINE STARTS…It was ridiculous and unnecessary.

But, somehow we survived. I ended up getting number 588, even better than the 662 before (sorry, 662). And we went inside.

Oh. My. Gaga.

As an obsessed fan Little Monster, I was highly overwhelmed by the amount of GAGA’S FACE EVERYWHERE in my eyesight.

We got in at around…8 o’clock. So after lining up overnight, doors opening at 6, it took us 2 hours just to get into the area. Where we needed to line up more.

Well, at least I have a place to sit and wait…

Overall, it wasn’t too terribly exciting after. There was a LONG period of nothing going on, and then around lunchtime, they decided they actually wanted to host random shit. Like “answer this question and you get a poster!” (I kinda wanted to get the poster but chances of her choosing me to answer was very low and I was too tired to put much effor in it anyway…) and a costume contest with terrible to mediocre / kinda decent contestants. Seriously, a wedding dress? ONLY a wedding dress? >____> Also, their dancing was messy and just kinda…..n—*shot for being too critical*

Finally, the important moment: the actual ticket-giving.

…Was relatively painless.

Or painful, considering it took forever to get to the spot in the first place.

Anyway, I have my ticket, and I’m definitely going next week (no matter what they say. My mom said that if I actually got a ticket that we can’t let it go to waste and I’ll just go to hell Tainan a day later.) Unfortunately, we’re in section C3, which is actually towards the back-end of the stadium.

That makes me wonder as to exactly how the tickets were ordered, seeing as how 588 wasn’t THAT far back in the line-up…

But apparently within the sections they’re also free seating, so I guess I gotta line up early. AGAIN. To get a good spot.

Oh what a day…the things I do for Gaga…

3 years ago with 5 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  Music;  Pop;  Lady Gaga;  

On the Twenty-fifth Day of June, I worried.

I don’t wanna go to Tainan I know I’ll be a terrible teacher and most likely have a terrible time but I can’t back out and I can’t tell my mom this late in the stage plus it’ll probably end in a huge fight anyway and I don’t want to fight anymore.

I miss boy and I wish that I knew what he was thinking about and he’s online but i don’t wanna bother him because he still has one more exam this coming Tuesday but I wanna talk to him and be next to him and ride his motorcycle again and just be there with him as a friend.

Oh god details to get the Lady Gaga Taichung show tickets are out and we have a location as well what time should I get to the place to line up they said that doors won’t open until 6 but I don’t know when everyone else will be there are they already lining up oh god oh god oh god will I even get a ticket?

I hope I win that contest too if I can’t get a ticket on Sunday at least I’ll get a ticket (I think) and even meet the Lady herself if I win the contest but people need to vote because otherwise I won’t be able to win oh god oh god oh god.

My mind. Is. Overloading.

3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-fourth Day of June, I was in pain. Again.

Round 2 of the wisdom tooth dentist yada yada. This time it was the bottom left tooth.

The dentist didn’t need to break the tooth in half, like she did with the bottom right side, which was kind of good. Sucker was HUGE though. She had to sew me up because the hole was too big after she pulled out the tooth.

…I need to go back in next week to get the seams out…


3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-third Day of June, I went into repair.

Well, not me specifically.

My hard drive, which crashed this past April, is finally getting looked at. It had all of my music, pictures, and the songs that I’ve written on it.

It hasn’t even been a whole year, and it just crapped out. I was surprised when it did…

It’s been a hassle, trying to get my files recovered…I’ve gotten a new hard drive and whatnot, but that doesn’t help much cuz my files aren’t on it. I brought it to Geek Squad (which, after everyone told me they’re terrible, I’m not going back to again…), who a. looked at it regularly, 2. sent it off to Geek Squad HQ for more intensive analysis, and then III. told me it was level 3 repairs and that it would cost at least $1700…whiiich ultimately turned into a no.

Now, we’re in Taiwan, it’s still kind of costly, but not even up to a thousand, which is good. All I can do is hope that something can be done…

3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twenty-second Day of June, I screamed at the world.

It started earlier, when I asked my mom how I should write my Lady Gaga contest entry.

My chinese, grammatically and when it comes to actual writing, isn’t the best. I can pull off talking to people verbally, but there are still a few words that I don’t know here and there. I asked her, therefore, to help me with the grammar, to make sure that I didn’t say anything weird or anything.

The theme of the contest is Born This Way (of course). Mercedes-Benz is sponsoring Gaga, so the whole contest is asking for you to create an outfit that expresses freedom, being born this way, etc. etc. I took a little bit of liberty; the pictures I submitted were from Halloween two years ago, but after having worn it, I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter what other people think, the only person that should care about what I do is me and me alone.

That’s what I wanted to express in my description. My mother thought otherwise.

She said that all of that afterthought part was extraneous, but after I explained it to her, she gave up, saying that it was my entry and that she doesn’t really care either way, but that she still felt like it was all unnecessary.

Just like when I gave that police report.

Sometime a few months back, we were hit by a car. It wasn’t major, we were in the lane and they didn’t see us when they went to change lanes. Right into us. The culprit actually ended up driving off, making it a hit and run. This being our first car accident in general, we had no idea what to do. Few phone calls, driving around (the accident was in Metairie, but we lived in Kenner, so we went home first, to consult with my dad. The station ended up telling us we needed to go back to Metairie to place the call), and we finally got a hold of an officer. In the report, I explained that we were driving back home, we made a u-turn so we were going back into the right direction, and that we changed lanes. A few minutes after, we were hit.

"We changed lanes."

This apparently was the statement that killed our case. My dad’s friend, who’s an ex-lawyer, looked over everything, and apparently (this wasn’t told to me, I was only aware that we should drop pursuing it any further) that it just looks more like two cars who ran into each other while changing into the same lane, which was not how I described it at all. However, assumptions can be made about everything, and this is no exception.

My mother kept insisting that I leave out that part.

Now she insists that she reminds me that I should just say the necessary parts.

It got to the point that I screamed at her because she wouldn’t shut up.


….Fastforward to dinner time. I was, for some strange reason, exhausted around late afternoon, so I took a nap. Finally everyone woke me up and we went out to eat. While in the car, my aunt asked if I wanted a cup of papaya milk after dinner. My mom, without me even saying anything, already objected to it. FOR me. How GRACIOUS. She said that we already eat so much, we’re so fat, and when we get home there’s no way to actually lose all of the weight.

I snapped.


No, really. Who asked YOU. Last I heard, she was asking ME if I wanted papaya milk. No one mentioned YOUR name, and just because I am YOUR son, that doesn’t mean that I am YOUR property. And saying that there’s no way to lose this weight? You make it sound like it’s permanently infused in our body. WHICH IT ISN’T.

Look. I know that I’m fat. At least, I’m fat for an asian. My face doesn’t really show it, my arms and legs aren’t that bad, but it’s all in my stomach. I’ve been asked on multiple occassions when the babies were due. I usually play along. But I just woke up then, I was still tired and groggy, I was cranky as hell, and I was still unhappy with my mom from the earlier statement.

…Everyone in the car was silent after that, the whole trip to the restaurant.

Granted, maybe screaming wasn’t the best option, but I am sick of her acting like she knows what’s best for me. Acting like she’s SO much better than me.

The only reason I was the only one that gave testimony to the police officer was because my mom hates using English. She went to school multiple times for it (now she claims that she can’t even go to one class because she “has to take care of us.” Thanks mom, for saying we’re holding you back.), but she never uses it. Why? She’s scared no one will understand her. Truth is? Her English is FINE. PERFECTLY. FINE. Part of the reason that it could be considered bad is because SHE DOESN’T PRACTICE IT. So blaming me for something that was clearly your job because YOU were the driver, not me, frustrates me.

Oh, but this isn’t even important stuff. Ooooh nonono. Wait until I tell her that I’ve lost the scholarship that paid for half of my tuition. Wait until I tell her that I don’t wanna go to Tainan for a mission that I don’t believe in. Or maybe I should tell her that I don’t want her to come get me from college every single Sunday so she can drag my ass to a church where even my friends alienate me.

Oh wait. Wait until I tell her that I LIKE BOYS.

…Sometimes I wonder what I should do with my life. I was contemplating this on the sofa earlier, before I fell asleep. My grades in school are terrible, I’m not that extraordinary of a singer, but I can’t do anything else either…

I contemplated suicide.

Not seriously, I would say.

It wasn’t the first time, either. The other times were more out of curiosity. You know, since no one’s entirely sure where we go after we leave this place. We only believe what we’re taught when we’re younger, what we’re told when you ask. It’s the only option. And like, I was thinking to myself, I don’t know what’s in my future. I don’t know if I even HAVE a future. You know…maybe I should just stop.

I never had enough incentive to act on it though. Not even this time. Like I said earlier, it was never seriously. Probably will never be. It’ll just stay in my head as a small curiosity that will never be explored. At least that’s one thing I’m sure of.

……..I said I was gonna change. I whine too much. I’m too lazy. I’m just kind of here, standing around, watching everything happen.

Old habits die hard, it seems…

I don’t know what to do…….

3 years ago with 2 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twentyfirst Day of June, I fought a headache.

Said headache resulted in me forgetting to post an entry until after I shut off my computer and go to sleep.

Yesterday wasn’t particularly interesting; what with worrying over missing boy and worrying over trying to go see Gaga, the most eventful part was the fact that I HAD a headache (which eventually went away, thank god)…

However, I did get some Mister Donut, which made me happy :3 nom nom nom

Wow, “twentyfirst” looks so weird. Did I spell that right?

Yeah, let’s see what today brings me…

3 years ago with 1 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Twentieth Day of June, I went American.

…The asian way.

Yeah, that’s right.

I ate McDonald’s.

…Is it sad that this is the most exciting event of today? >___>

Woke up extremely late; my sleeping schedule is just being thrown around here and there, what with the napping, the random sleeping time, and other conditions. I need to fix it soon = =; But yeah, I woke up and just got on the computer until around dinner-time. I needed to get a new pair of glasses (it’s been forever since I’ve had a check-up), so I went to the store, finally chose a pair after narrowing it down to two, did a small exam, and left. There was a McDonald’s next door, so I decided why not, it’s a different taste anyway.

There were of course, the few signature items: cheeseburger, nuggets, apple pie, fish filet. Then there were a few items that I’ve never seen in an American McDonald’s: fried chicken burger, spicy chicken burger, chicken legs, and a grilled chicken burger (there used to be a special shrimp burger with rice buns, but they discontinued that it seemed…) I myself got a grilled chicken burger, which tasted quite good. Had a taste of the legs as well, cuz my sister and aunt bought that for themselves.

Although, I’m not really that full….all of the other foods that I’ve eaten have left me about to die from stomach explosions O.o….

3 years ago with 1 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Nineteenth Day of June, I was born and reborn.

Ah, what a day. What a day. It was hard leaving Taipei, partially because I really wanted to visit everyone again, mostly because I was groggy and confused when I woke up XD…got on the train, slept some, ended up in a completely different city, then ran onto another train going back. My mom and aunts almost rampaged the station, saying that they were the ones at fault XD;; I was completely calm. A bit upset that I slept through my stop, but it wasn’t THAT big of a deal….then again, I had a nice view and a comfy seat anyway, and they had to reschedule our lunch reservations because I was running late (serves them right, ripping me away from my friends just because they wanna spend my birthday with me, as if they don’t spend every day with me already = =; )

I somehow get back to Taichung, unscathed THANK YOU MOM YOU CAN STOP WORRYING NOW. They moved our reservation back to 1:30, where originally it was for 11:30. Unfortunately, that means two of my cousins couldn’t make it because they had to go to classes (I guess it was like, cram school? Neither of them were happy about missing food >x>;…)

We got to Tasty. Yes, that’s what the restaurant was called. It was a full meal; appetizer, antipasto, salad, soup, sawa (asian lemonade slushie), main dish, dessert, and after-meal drinks. At some point, we also got an extra plate of fruit salad because they misplaced our order and were so sorry (no, really, they kept apologizing, we were all just happy to be eating such good food that it didn’t really matter :x) All this for less than $15 American dollars. Sheesh. We can maybe buy a hamburger meal from McDonalds for that money…and they also gave us an extra plate of caramel popcorn, champagne (alcohol-free) and a birthday candle hat to wear XD (the hat was only for show though. Kinda wish I was able to keep it; it looked damn fine on me XD [pictures to come soon]).

I take back what I said earlier; even though they did drag me away from my friends, today was a pretty fun day. Lunch was amazing.

It’s kind of funny, how today kinda folded out; I missed the stop, so we had to move everything back. The waiters misplace our order, so we get an extra plate of food, as well as a special gift (flower pot that grows the flowers out of a head, so it looks like hair. Like a Chia pet but cooler and cuter!). 美麗的錯誤 [meili de cuowu], beautiful mistakes, as my aunt said.

Ooh boy I ate so much @__@ Took a meganap for like, 5 hours after I got back home. I’m STILL groggy…eating dinner now and then I’m gonna pass out some more X____x;…

Cousin: Can you even drink alcohol?
Me: I’m already 18 [18 is the legal drinking age for Taiwan].
Wait…no…..I’m 19! I turned 19 now!

Wow….nineteen yeras of existing….on June 19th. It’s been a bumpy ride. I can’t see how my family hasn’t tried to murder me already.

I kind of feel that sometimes I’m not spending life to my fullest, or I’m whining about how something isn’t going right or that I’m lonely or whatever. I’m going to change all of that. I’m going to make sure of it. I’m going to become a better person.

Happy birthday, me. Here’s to another god-knows-how-many years of being stuck with each other.

3 years ago with 2 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Eighteenth Day of June, I fought with the Monkey King.

Today’s the last day of my Taipei trip. I’m really sad. The only reason why I have to go so early is because my birthday is tomorrow oh look it’s midnight already, so it’s actually today, so my aunts and mom wanted me to spend it with them (doing what? Eating. Who saw that one coming? *sarcasm*)

Today was actually pretty lax compared to the rest. I spent all night writing a little thank you letter to boy, for letting me stay at his house and him taking me around, treating me to food, etc. etc. I also wrote down lyrics to a song on the back (long story short, I sang him a song the last day of his visit in New Orleans by Wang Lee Hom, and I caught him singing another one of his songs during one of our recent Skype convos, and it fit my situation well so I altered a bit of it to make it fit more…) The main issue was that it was all in Chinese, both letter and lyrics, plus I made an origami envelope too, so after typing it all out in Chinese first, scribbling it in chicken scratch and worrying that my handwriting looked terrible, and making said envelope, it was 5 in the morning, sunrise, and my feet were bitten terribly by the mosquitos. I slipped the note in his phone stand, then snuck in and passed out next to boy in his bed (at one point, he turned and accidentally elbowed me in the forehead. It didn’t hurt; I found it quite cute, actually.)

Woke up at 10, a bit groggy and kind of quiet. I was a bit nervous, since I woke up seeing the note was gone. I think boy noticed that I was a bit uneasy too, because he asked if I was still tired because I wasn’t saying much. I just told him that I was thinking a bit, so I wasn’t really talking much.

We set off on our adventure to visit Mrs. Liyen, the teacher from last year that came to New Orleans. I wore the shirt that she gave me as a present before she left. Her stomach was HUGE. But that’s to be expected; apparently the baby’s gonna come sometime in July. So quickly @__@…it was really nice catching up with her. Ryan and another guy (I only met him this week, but I never caught his name :x) came along, so it was just a nice little get-together. After that, we left for school; the performance was tonight, and they had early call.

Pretty much the rest of the day consisted of me using the computer and taking a nap, before going into the auditorium and waiting for the performance to start. (Cute moment of that timeframe: I sat down at the table where he was doing his makeup, there was a chair in between. At some point, he stopped doing his makeup, turned to me, patted the empty chair in between us, and smiled. I scooted over. We didn’t talk, but it still made me all giggly inside.)

The performance was great. I would say it’s my first time watching actual Chinese opera, because when they came to visit the two times in high school, they didn’t really have a set, like they did here. The main plot line was mainly some of the adventures of the famed Monkey King. It’s really hard to explain exactly the whole experience. I was gonna take pictures, but I was later informed, before the performance, that I couldn’t ):

After the performance, I talked to my friends, both those that were performing and some that happened to be at the performance. Pretty much just told them that I had to leave because I had to catch the early train back to Taichung tomorrow. My last little motorcycle ride with boy (we rode from the audiorium to the dorms to pick up my bags XD) and then back to the front gate. I said thank you lord knows how many times, gave him a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and off I went.

…As Katy Perry said, “if it’s not like the movies, that’s how it should be.” But…I kinda wish there was a bit more…I overthink so much, it’s not healthy to my mind. Sure, my imagination may grow, but sometimes I wish it wasn’t so active. I should’ve hugged him longer, before we rode back to the gate. I should’ve asked him how he actually felt, if he even knows I like him (seriously. I’ve told him twice and I’m STILL not sure if he does). I wish that I didn’t like him; it would make things so much easier, because the more I think about it, the more I convince myself that nothing will come out of it. Because I really do think nothing will. We’ll be good friends, maybe even the best of friends. I don’t mind that. Or maybe I do. I just….ah….iunno…..

We held hands briefly, before he had to go back to the dorms to rest up for another performance tomorrow. I couldn’t stand feeling his hand slip from mine.

This probably has been the worst I’ve fallen for someone…at least in a long while. I’m scared to see him again, actually, and yet I keep telling him to come find me in Taichung…

Tomorrow I leave. This’ll be an interesting birthday. Or at least, I hope so.

3 years ago with 4 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Seventeenth Day of June, I fell in love again.

I wish I wasn’t.

This was a bad idea.

Why do I care so much?…


Today was graduation day! All of the high school and college graduates met at the Muzha auditorium for the ceremony. This was a good time to meet up with some of the Jingju department college seniors that I knew from waaay back when, when they first came to my high school. Not everyone was there (some of them started working, others went to different schools, and one guy even stayed back two years), but I saw a good amount. Jialing, from two days ago, was there, so that was a good sign. I also saw Yaya, who was supposed to eat dinner with us but couldn’t, as well as Pongpong, Tony, his (ex?-)girlfriend…I think that’s the majority of the college graduates that were there. As for the baby high schoolers, all of the Hakka kids that came to New Orleans last year were there (clearly), as well as Alice and her friend Yingqi (my birthday twin). THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE it was hard trying to keep track of who I needed to say hi to, where to go, who to find, what to do @__@…I also randomly saw Rochelle (who now changed her name to Haley. Oh asian people.) at the ceremony. She was working (she doesn’t go to school anymore), so I happened to see her there; any other Friday she would be at home. Great fate! We talked a lot, and I ended up hanging out with her after the festivities. We got papaya milk (of course. Actually, she had a cup of watermelon milk instead, which is just as good) and hung out, talked a bit, caught up and whatnot.

Lunch was fried rice wrapped in egg, or dan bao fan. I wish America had this. I asked my mom if she could make it for me once, but we didn’t have the right pots, so it was all messy and weird…

Today was a bit more lax; everyone’s busy because tomorrow there’s a performance. That’s really the only reason why I’m on the computer. Boy’s forbidden me from watching their practice because I’m going to their performance tomorrow, so I’ll see it anyway. Haha.

*sigh*….tomorrow’s the last day that I’ll get to see them. I’m visiting Mrs. Liyen, the teacher that came to New Orleans. She’s pregnant and stuff, so we’re all gonna have a house visit! I can’t wait to see her.

I don’t wanna go yet…but staying here….doesn’t really feel right………..

No, I’m just being stupid again. Ugh.

I really like him. Which is a problem.


We met 3 years ago. Since then, we’ve kept in touch here and there. I’ve liked him right from the beginning. Always have.

And then…he finds a girlfriend.

….Not that that’s stopped me before (unfortunately…), but…I wish it did…

It doesn’t help that he’s so damn friendly, too. And happy all of the time. I’ve never seen him frown once, and the only time I have, he was faking it / being playful, and even then you could see a hint of a smile.

…I keep telling myself that as long as he’s happy, then I’m happy.

But I’m a jealous soul…and a very bitter one at that…

I wish it was me that could make him happy. *sigh*…

Farewell, my concubine…

3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Love;  Life;  June 2011;  

On the Sixthteenth Day of June, I went back to school.

First official day in Taipei! Rode on asian boy’s motorcycle to school. A bit of a ride; he drives 40 minutes every day to get from his house to his school, another 40mins back. They have to work on the high school and college graduation stuff tomorrow though, so it’d be easier if we stay here instead of waking up earlier to get here at 7.

Class wasn’t much, though boy only had one class anyway. A lot of people that I knew recognized me (surprisingly…or not?) which was fun. I missed them all so much. But there were a lot of people I didn’t get to see either…so I’m hunting them down tomorrow >D

Met up with a few teachers that I knew too, which was nice. I wasn’t on the campus that I went to the last few years, so it was a different experience, being on their college campus. Watched the Hakka department practice one of their performances, the one on Sunday (I’ll be missing it because I’m leaving that morning), which was refreshing. I forgot how much I missed Chinese opera, whether watching or performing (…well, performing whatever we were taught XD;…)

Was initially going to go visit another teacher that I knew; she’s pregnant and therefore taking a leave of absence, so I need to find her. However, boy ended up being busy until after 8 doing graduation ceremony preparation, so instead Ryan and I went to the Neihu campus, the old campus that I’m used to.


Also, indulge me in a little bout of random:

Me: So, should I hold onto your waist or something?
Ryan: Nah, just hold onto the motorcycle. I don’t really like it when guys hold onto my waist…

So, either:

or, more likely,

After almost dying because Ryan speeds like hell, swerves around like crazy, and my butt flying off of the seat at one point, we finally made it. However, all of the people I knew went to eat = =; SO! I watched some random movie. Visited Alice, who I knew from 3 years ago. She gave me her class yearbook as a present. I jokingly told her to get it signed by everyone, which she actually did…I got a small happy birthday message from another girl, who I also knew from back then (we also share a birthday too, which is all fun and stuff) [REMEMBER THE FACT THAT SHE HAD EVERYONE SIGN IT. IMPORTANT POINT COMING UP*]

Eventually, the large group that I was waiting for came back. We talked a lot, and everything was all happy-happy. I get to see them tomorrow too, because they’re graduating. I intend to take pictures, because I haven’t taken much since in Taipei…



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3 years ago with 0 notes
TAGGED AS: Thoughts;  Life;  June 2011;